Self-love, boy have we all struggled with that, I know I have. It can become so easy to neglect ourselves, either by distraction, forgetfulness, stress of life, or putting others first. We get carried away with life and all the things that life pulls our attention toward, leaving no time to do a little something for ourselves.
This can look different for each person, there are many different ways that we can express self-love and take care of ourselves. Places to start can be with knowing yourself and your limits, allowing yourself breaks when needed; speaking kindly toward yourself, not allowing negative self-talk, if it occurs, stopping it, realizing it and redirecting; doing activities that make you happy, being creative, going on walk, spending time in nature; building self-care routines, drinking plenty of water, yoga in the mornings, gratitude journal each day; set healthy boundaries for yourself and others, not allowing negative advice and many more.
Self-love is self-care, carving a little time and giving a little effort to put yourself first, even if for 5 minutes each day. In doing this, you begin to appreciate yourself more and over time you are more compassionate and forgiving with yourself. Loving yourself in my opinion is the most important part of your journey, because without that, you are harder on yourself, speak harshly toward yourself, neglect yourself and diminish the quality of your life.
Other methods to expressing self-love is through putting a stop to negative habits we have developed such as comparing ourselves to others, worrying of others opinions, beating ourselves down for mistakes made, speaking negatively about our appearance, holding onto toxic people in our lives and letting our fears lead us.
The best form of self-love is discipline. Seeing where we are betraying ourselves and taking the step to change our course, turn it into compassion for ourselves. At the core of expressing love toward ourselves is embracing our uniqueness. Embracing who we are, as we are and finding ways to love our mind, body and soul. We are capable of changing how we are treated, by being nicer to ourselves and setting boundaries to not allow abuse from others in any degree.
I, myself have struggled immensely with self-love, putting myself last, speaking negatively toward myself, selling myself short, becoming lax in routines, and thinking that what I am and have is not enough. Thinking like this is not sustainable in the long run and can really wear us down over time. I still struggle some days with making myself my priority and don't always give myself the tender care I deserve but more and more I am improving and showing myself more love than I have before.
Getting to know myself, my fears and worries about who I am helped a lot with creating self-love habits. By stepping back and looking at the things about myself, such as physically that I have spent most my life being insecure about and spoke negatively about to myself and with others, I was able to really see the beauty in those things, with patience, acceptance and love. Writing things down made it easier to analyze those things that I disliked, spent time comparing to others on or thinking back to things that I got teased about as a child, I learned to see the value in all those things.
Here is a poem I wrote for myself to show how I learned to love aspects that I used to ridicule. This is a good method to change the way we see ourselves. Write it down and change it to reflect love.
Things I'm learning to love about myself
Things I've had to step back and re-examine about myself
My big ears that come to a slight point
Reminding me that I am an elven fairy in a foreign world
The fairness of my skin spotted with millions of kisses of the universe
Reminding me that I am a porcelain doll in the hands of Mother Earth
The fire of my hair that is unique and rare
Reminding me that I am perfect just the way I am
Taking the time to really see the way we view ourselves and approach it with love, that is a great step into bringing more self-love into our lives. For me, I really like myself, I love me, I know I have issues and imperfections that rear their head often, but they are mine, they're not dangerous, I know where they're from. I am able to see all that and turn inward with acceptance for who I am.
Self-love can be as simple or as complex as you would like it to be. It can be as simple as preparing yourself a nourishing breakfast, buying the dress you've been wanting a long time, going to your favorite spot in town or nature, telling yourself you are beautiful, slowing down a negative thought and changing it to positive. It can be as complex as journaling consistently, digging deep into emotions that make you feel bad about yourself, sitting in silence with yourself reflecting, going on a solo trip, or letting people go from our lives that make it easy to be harsh towards ourselves.
Sit down, think about the way you treat yourself and determine if that is helping you or harming you. Make an effort to show yourself more love and compassion through which ever method serves you best. Sending you all my love and light.
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